I know there's a lot of NSFW lymeriks out there. I'd like to hear some clean, funny lymeriks also.

I'll start

A fellow in search of a gimmic
said "I think I shall try writing lymeriks"
But he failed at the sport
Cause he wrote them too short...

I assume you mean limericks. You know, named after the County in Ireland, Limerick.

there once was a man from Nantucket,
whos toe was so big he could suck it,
he said with a grin,
as he wiped off his shin,
if your ass was a ball,
he would punt it.

wow i cant believed i cleaned that one up!

There once was a man from Peru
He fell asleep in a canoe
While dreaming of Venus...he pulled on his.........
And out flew a handful of goo.

*Edit: There are no 'clean' limericks.*

There once was a website called Plime
That sucked up its users' free time
They would get in a state
And frequently debate
Whether downvotes were really a crime

Einstein woke up with a blink,
said "Eureka, I've got it!, I think.
If it's more perspiration
and less inspiration
no wonder my limericks stink."

The Limerick, one should observe,
Should always be held in reserve.
For it's meter and rhyme
Lends credence and time
To the overtly whimsical perv.

Where the tall pretty girl named Rose is,
You will find her short beau named Moses,
When she gets to fartin’,
His nostrils start smartin’,
Cause her legs end about where his nose is.

There once was a thread post on PLIME,
Post a limerick, that peculiar RHYME,
You must keep it clean,
Not rude or obscene,
Which is like doing Shakespeare in MIME.

That's good!

I was once a member of Plime,
I enjoyed it for a very long time,
But the Drama and Bulls**t
have completely ruined it,
So it's here I post the last time.

I know a Plimate named Steve.
Who said he was going to leave.
But I'd like him to know,
That if he were to go,
It would cause me greatly to bereave.

I once had a call on the phone
From a person it seemed was unknown,
But as we started to natter
It was clear from his chatter
That it was my old mate Tone!

Crap!

"If you do that, the terrorists will have won."

/Bush

Nooo.. :(

To the Desert a wandering I go,
But this outting was cursed by Moe,
In the Afternoons light,
A very horrible sight,
The mountains first dusting of snow.

I once thought the desert a prize
Trekking the wide open skies
But now you'll find me
in the salt of the sea
Cuz I'm afraid that them hills do have eyes.