Today is the day
Now is the time
That we must express
ourselves in rhyme.

Don't make it pretty
Don't make it gay
For we all shall celebrate
Bad Poetry Day

Be it Epic or Acrostic
An Ode, Haiku, or Free Verse
If someone makes one bad
You must make one worse!

Poetry is not my forte
I like the rhyme
I like the meter
But I can't make the time.

I can some of the time
make poetry with rhyme
So today I will try
To make poetry that will
Bring tears to the eye
And make you cry!

I once tried to give poems a whirl
And wrote one for this cute girl
We never did date
Since the poems I create
Had this habit of making her hurl

For poetic inspiration
I first look to my right
Which causes much perspiration
Because I see an orange.

So I looked to my left instead
Which is no improvement
A coffee mug in black and red
And a babanana.

I don't do poetry.
I don't do rhyme.
I've got better things,
to do with my time.

I went for a walk and saw another guy walking a dog. It rained so I came home.

Soon I'm going fishing





Bad enough?

Emo gothic poetry:

Blackberry juice darkens my tongue!
Like the black metal rung
Upon which I bloodily hung
My enemy's forcibly taken lung!

June
moon
spoon
swoon

boon
tune
strewn
prune

A fellow in search of a gimmick,
Said "I'll try out my hand writing limericks."
But, he failed at the sport,
Cause he wrote them to short...

In case you can't produce your own bad poetry (*ahem!* doggylives) the BBC is standing by to help.

Here's a sample.

I call it Squid Ink in your Eye.

See, see the serene sky
Marvel at its big umber depths.
Tell me, Alton do you
Wonder why the spoon ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel peppy.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your barfifle facial growth
That looks like
An egg.
What's more, it knows
Your unctuous potting shed
Smells of thumbtacks.
Everything under the big serene sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm lemons.

Quoted rather freely from the Beatles:

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A Crasher Squirrel with maniac eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the squirrel with murder in her eyes,
And she's gone.

Squirrel in the sky with almonds...

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies,
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high.

Newspaper taxis appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
And you're gone.

Squirrel in the sky with diamonds,

Picture yourself on a train in a station,
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties,
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The Crasher Squirrel with homicidal eyes.

Squirrel in the sky with almonds.

There once was a road I loved to travel.
Now that road has been unraveled.
It once was lined with trees so tall
That one by one were made to fall.
New asphalt has replaced each one
And spoiled all my viewing fun.
Two twisty lanes that cheered my drive
Are replaced with four. I want to break out in hives. (Not really).
Progress is good, the papers say.
Not so sure I see it that way.

Ode to The Short

To be short is the blessing of life
To be short is how I survive
If not short, succeed I would not
To be short sure helps me a lot

To be short is the butter on my bread
To be short is the cap on my head
If not short, run fast I would not
To be short sure helps me a lot

To be short is the shortcut to fame
To be short is winning the game
If not short, no women I'll meet
To be short makes me complete

So this is the lesson for every a man
Try to be short whenever you can
Cause short is a blessing; Yes indeed!
Short is my mantra, my guidance, my need

Some may call me buddy
While others will call me dude
But I'd like to remind you all that...

MY CAT'S BREATH SMELLS LIKE CAT FOOD!

roses are red
violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
and so am I